Teaching People How to Treat You (guest post)

 Matthew 7:12 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets”

       “I can’t believe they did that to me! Jerks! Who do they think they are? You don’t treat people that way!” This is a common rant that I tend to hear a friend of mine fuse over often. I do agree with her though, how the guys treat her is terrible, inappropriate and the exact opposite of a true gentleman’s behavior. However, she taught it to them—she gave them permission to treat her like that. “Say what?!?” I know I know, but before you click off thinking I’ve finally snapped, please try to hear me out!

       You see, my friend acted in a way that said “Yeah, that’s right! I’m easy and flirtatious! I’m willing to do crazy things to be the center of attention!” My friend would sit on guys’ laps, act “dumb”, allow guys to be “touchy” with her, be excessively giggly and act like a complete flirt with any guy who seemed the least bit interested in her. She taught them how to treat her by acting in such a way. The guys figured “Oh, well if it’s okay for her to act that way, then it must be okay for us to treat her that way.”

           Luke 6:31 commands us to “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” When people read this verse, they think “Oh, I should be nice to people, because I would want people to be nice back to me.” There is nothing wrong with this thought, and it is on track, but today I want to show you a new element of this verse that I desperately hope you will apply to your lives. Instead of thinking in terms of “being nice and people will be nice back” instead think “treat others/act appropriately and respectfully to people, and they will treat you appropriately and respectfully back”. In simple terms, this verse is not just telling you to put others first and treat them well, but it is also saying that how you act is how people will treat you. You teach people how to treat you. If you act flirtatious and playful, then they are going to act the same way back. If you act reserved and respectful, then they will treat you the same way.

          “Oh Heather, that’s not true; it’s just how that person was raised, and he/she will treat everyone that way!” For the majority of people, this is not true. The boys who treat my friend this way, don’t even think twice about treating me, or a few other girls who are “guarding their hearts”, that way. We try our hardest to act as if Jesus were in the room (which He is!), and they in return treat us well and with respect.

            People will test you, they will observe you. If someone makes a suggestive joke, don’t laugh. If they try to sit on you or invade your space, then either get up and walk away, or tell them as respectfully as possible to get off immediately. The key to teaching people how to treat you is to simply be real, and be who you are, and not a fake or overplayed version of yourself. Act in one manner, and turn your two-faced mask over to the drama department. 

           So many girls tend to ask “Why do I keep attracting jerks? Why are guys treating me like this?”, and for the majority, it is because it’s how you taught them to treat you. True, they may treat you the same way that another girl had taught them how to treat her, but that ends when you come into play, and don’t allow it to happen with yourself.

           Girls, this lesson goes hand in hand with guarding your heart, honoring your future husband and helping to prepare other guys for their future wives by not being a stumbling block to them. The Bible tells us how we are to act; check out the following verses, and try to apply them to your own life.

• “Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to self- control, perserverance; and to perserverance, godliness.” -2 Peter 1:5-6
• “Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God”- 1 Corinithians 10:31
• “As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” – Colossians 3:12
• “The fruity of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance; against such there is no law” –Galatians 5: 22-23

Girls, it’s time for a revolution. It’s time that we stop acting flirtatious, stop being “easy” for guys to “claim”, stop disrespect the body God has given us, stop being selfish and a stumbling block to our brothers and sisters; it’s time that we instead strive to replace all bad characteristics with godly ones. It’s time to put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. It’s time we strive to add faith, goodness, knowledge, self control, perserverance and godliness to who we are. It’s time to let Jesus shine through us, and make His temple (you!) acceptable and capable of being used by Him!

Off with the old, on with the new!                                                                                                                “Throw off your old evil nature and your former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception.  Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. You must display a new nature because you are a new person, created in God's likeness -- righteous, holy, and true. –Epsheisans 22-24.

It’s time that you’ve started teaching people how to treat you.

This was a guest post done by Heather. I am so thankful to have her do this for me! Thanks Heather!